I was driving a car when I came upon an underground bunker by a mini-mart filled with kids I know. With me was a mystical object, the all-producing Wiimote. With it, I could produce any substance or whatever I wanted.
I don't remember every part of the dream, but out of what I remember, these bits stick out the most: I was in a drum-off with a fat loser that nobody really likes outside of his small group of equally idiotic and loser friends. I destroyed him with some sick beats. I got high with the Wiimote in my dream, willing it to produce the smoke of marijuana.
But the part that I remember most is that, even in my dreams, the girl I love did not love me back. She rejected my (completely innocent) approaches and left me heartbroken in my own dream. I did not cry, I sucked it up and just kept moving. I remember eating in the dream, some milk and crackers.
Even now, it aches me that she wouldn't accept me in my own dream. It would seem to me that in my own subconscious there is some doubt about her liking me, which should be natural. She's already rejected my offer to go to homecoming with her, and any other approach is usually put off.
But now I understand somewhat why she is that way; she doesn't like being asked those kinds of things in public. Still, I could never muster up the courage to pull her aside and spill out my true feelings for her. Time and both of our schedules also don't permit it. She would catch on the moment I asked her to meet me after school or something. I just can't do it, I'm too afraid of what she might say. What her true feelings are about me.
So I just sit in agony about her, and meanwhile search for someone else to soothe my pain. I'm lonely, I want some companionship. It's a biological and sociological thing, also very emotional. I want somebody to turn to and I want somebody to turn to me in times of struggling or emotional pain. I... I want somebody to want me next to them even when I'm far, far away. I want somebody to WANT me.
Whatever. I've been working on some art since the last time I posted, which was too long ago.
Take a look.
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| I'm not quite sure about what it is, exactly. It's inspired by...something. I'm not even sure what. I like the technology feel it has to it, so I posted it up here. AP Studio Art teacher says it has potential as a sculpture. |
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| This is Majora's Mask from the Zelda video game. It's been vectored in Photoshop. I took some liberties in creating it, since some of the hsapes were hard to do. It doesn't quite have that same creepy effect to it, but the eyes still seems to stare straight into your soul. I like it. |
Homecoming is in a little bit. I hope the girl I'm talking to right now goes through with a decision to attend homecoming. I'd feel like a real loser if I just went alone, but I'm sure I'd find somebody anyway once I got there. Eh, it's really whatever...but I can't just keep on suppressing things like this.
Football game on Monday, I've got to focus. Kinnick isn't some pushover like Osan; they could very well beat us. That cannot be allowed to happen. Should go to sleep, but somebody wants to talk to me on that cursed Facebook. Bah.
